A Wild Pack of Thesauri

When I landed my teaching job, my grandmothers gifted me with a big ol' box of dictionaries and thesauri.

That's right. It's thesauri, not thesaurusesseseseses. At least, in my class it is.

Don't worry. You're not the first to question my use of the word thesauri. I have to defend the word to the bitter end every year. The conversation normally goes like this.

Ms. P: Okay, guys. Today we're going to come up with some exciting synonyms to replace all those vague, dried up words we've been overusing. Mmkay?

Class: yawns

Ms. P: Don't look so excited. Oh wait, I mean tantalized, riveted, engaged!!!! Mwahaha. Right. You'll find all the thesauri at the back of the room.

Class: The-who-what?

Ms. P: (nonchalantly) Thesauri. You know. Two or more books filled with lovely synonyms.

Class: Isn't that a dinosaur?

Then they promptly disregard the rest of my lesson, as they are too busy drawing thesaurus-wielding dinosaur-dragon hybrids who swoop down to earth in packs to impart synonyms to the lowly Earth dwellers. 

fire-breathing literati

scary..terrifying..frightening..horrifying

He's reading War and Peace, and it makes him feel all gay and happy.

Perhaps we should work on some more politically-correct synonyms next.

You think they're funny now? Just wait until I let them loose with all those flashy, brand-spankin'-new $10 dollar words. Because "That's," as Paul Harvey would say, "the rest of the story."

Wrangling wild thesauri,
Ms. P