Poaching Snails

As a teacher, I receive boatload of Christmas presents from my students; however, each one is memorable in its own way. Perhaps because of it's practicality - dry erase markers, gallons of hand sanitizer, copy paper. Seriously, we teachers love this stuff. Perhaps because of its comedic value - anti-wrinkle cream (I'm 24, people.), deodorant, a bottle opener - yes, all actual gifts this year.

Oftentimes, the stand-out gifts make me wonder how my students describe me to their parents.

"Well, mom, my English teacher is an aging alcoholic with a body odor problem and an affinity for germ-killing substances."

Perfect.

My favorite gifts, oftentimes, are handmade by the students.  For instance, Mr. Potato Head wrote me a children's book for Christmas. It was entertaining, which was no surprise given his previous writing. So gather round, readers. It's STORY TIME!

The Lonely Cheetah by Mr. Potato Head

Story time's over as soon as it began kiddos, but feel free to continue the discussion of today's book for extra credit.

Possible discussion questions:

1) What text-to-self connections can you draw from The Lonely Cheetah?

2) Do you think The Lonely Cheetah is an allegory? If not, is it because you can't remember can an allegory is?

3) Do you think the cheetah's position as an outcast allowed him to live outside society's norms? If so, do you think that's why he perceived the poacher's flavor to be bacon-y? Elaborate.

The Kid Without Clean Paper

Middle schoolers are generally predictable in their unpredictability. Here's what I mean. You figure out their quirks and patterns by this time in the school year. A newcomer might find it odd that a student in my 5th period communicates primarily in various bird-like squawks and whistles; however, it would take me completely by surprise if I heard Birdboy carry on a conversation comprised of full sentences and absent of squeaks.

Birdboy, however, is not today's topic of discussion. He's predictable in his unpredictability. 

Occasionally, a student comes along who is impossible to peg. Refuses to be pigeon-holed. Would drive the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit to drink.

Meet Exhibit B: We'll call him Mr. Potato Head. His only topics of interest are very specific cartoon characters and very specific foods. Sponge Bob. Oscar the Grouch. Potatoes. Green Beans. It was muffins today. He was the author of the first Get This Kid a Book Deal. Genius right?

But then there's the side that turns this in...

Directions: Write a more descriptive synonym or phrase to improve the word choice in the journal entry.

(on a potato-fixated day, obviously)

Today's persuasive letter is my favorite surprise from Mr. Potato Head thus far, though.

It reads:

Dear Paper Makers,

      My teachers tell me to get a clean sheet of paper, but you only sell them with lines! It says loose-leaf paper, but copy paper is clean! You need to clean off these lines! NOW! (Pleas) (sic).

                                                                         From,

                                                                         The Kid Without Clean Paper, Mr. Potato Head

I guess it's true what they say. There is a fine line between genius and insanity.

Walking the line,

Ms. P